So it's time for the holidays...a bittersweet memory of family memories gone by along with family members gone from our lives. Don't misunderstand me, I LOVE Christmas. It is, by far, my favorite holiday of the year. However, as I have grown in to an adult and watched the world change from the innocent view I held as a child, Christmas has become tarnished as well.
I am sick of a few things...which I will express before I say what I am thankful for, because I don't want to end on a sour note. I am sick of commercials, of people being nice only because its the holiday season, of Christ not being the center of Christmas, of feeling guilty if I don't get every friend and family member a gift, and of being sad because my mom isn't here with her crazy Santa voice calling to see what I want in my stocking. I am tired of the endless rush, of feeling like its the end of the year and I have no time to get anything done because it is soon going to be the start of school and *poof* two years of my life are dedicated to becoming a PA. I am tired of feeling like a horrible daughter to my real father and to my heavenly one. I am tired of being the smart one, the reliable one, the focused one, the successful one. I want to be carefree and reckless and just enjoy life ONCE without feeling guilty for letting someone down or forgetting someone.
I am blessed, I know that. I have a wonderful family, a loving boyfriend, friends all over the place who would do anything for me, and my loyal dogs who comfort me with their excitement just to see me. (However, they are also excited at the sound of the food container too, so I can't take too much stock in that.) I love the sight of Christmas lights, of baking cookies, of decorating the tree and the house. I love wrapping presents and the look on peoples' faces when they open them. I am a giver...I could care less if I get gifts, but it wouldn't be Christmas if I didn't get to give them.
So at the remembrance of our Savior's birth, I ask that you take time to just be free and carefree...and remember that it is a life more abundant we are supposed to live, here, on earth, not just in heaven.
Posts
